![]() However, I can promise you that you already use singular “they” every single day – just unconsciously! Think about phrases like “Did someone leave their coffee cup at the table?” or “I’ll call them back when I have a second.” Normal! When you first meet a person who uses “they” pronouns, it will probably have to be something you are very conscious about practicing. Because most of us are taught when we’re learning to read and write not to use “they” as singular, it can definitely be hard to wrap your head around. Important note: A person’s pronouns don’t always “match up” with their gender identity (a person’s deeply personal, internal sense of their own gender) and/or their gender expression (the ways in which a person might choose to physically or visually express their gender, such as through clothing, hair, etc.)! Just like gender identity, you can’t know (and therefore shouldn’t assume) what a person’s pronouns are until they tell you.Ĭontrary to popular belief, the use of the pronoun “they” to refer to a single person has existed in English speech and writing for centuries. ![]() When someone is referred to with the wrong pronoun, it can make them feel disrespected, invalidated, alienated, or dysphoric (often all of the above). Some folks, especially trans, non-binary, and gender non-conforming individuals, may choose to use gender-neutral pronouns, such as “they/them/theirs”, “ze/zir/zirs”, or “per/per/pers”.Ĭorrectly using someone’s pronouns is one of the most basic ways to show your respect for their gender identity – or really, just your respect for them as a human being. The English language (as well as many others) has gender-specific personal pronouns, traditionally “he/him/his” for the masculine and “she/her/hers” for the feminine. Pronouns – what are they, and why do they matter?Ī pronoun is a word that refers to either the people talking (like “I” or “you”) or someone or something that is being talked about (like “she”, “it”, “them”, and “this”).
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